focus-ratings-mornoing newsGood morning…

The new Australian ratings did well yesterday with our second rating horse winning the race.

Please be aware…

There may well be a Sunday Smile post later on this morning – after I’ve had my breakfast, that is.

I will also be rating the 11:59 at Santa Anita (USA) Grade 3 sprint and will be sending the link to those ratings out in about an hour or so.

Hong Kong Ratings

The link to the ratings (top three rated) for today’s meeting at Sha Tin is http://compassratings.com/data/compassratings-2020-05-17.pdf

The link to the ratings (all horses) for today’s meeting at Sha Tin is http://compassratings.com/data/compassratings-full-2020-05-17.pdf

French Ratings

I have managed to rate the 4 Graded races at Auteuil today.

The link to today’s French ratings is… http://focusratings.com/french/FrenchRatings-2020-05-17.pdf

Other Ratings

One of the members took a punt on the Australian ratings that I published on Saturday; this is what he said to me…

Morning Keith – I did the top three and Trekking came in at 8.2 betfair – nice. Thanks again – Roy


Something to make you smile…

The 85 year old man and Viagra…

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.

“How are you grandpa?” he asks.

“Feeling fine,” says the old man.

“What’s the food like?”

“Terrific, wonderful menus.”

“And the nursing?”

“Just couldn’t be better. The young nurses really take care of you.”

“What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?”

“No problem at all — nine hours solid every night. At 10 o’clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate & a Viagra tablet .. and that’s it. I go out like a light.”

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the nurse in charge.

“What are you people doing?” he says, “I am told you are giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can’t be true?”

“Oh, yes,” replied the nurse. “Every night at 10 o’clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate & a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep… and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed.”


A Young Couple on their Wedding Night…

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite.

As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: “Here, put these on.”

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

“I can’t wear your trousers,” she said.

“That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the one who wears the trousers in this relationship.”

With that she flipped him her knickers and said: “Try these on.”

He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

“Hell,” he said. “I can’t get into your knickers!”

She replied: “That’s right… and that’s the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes.”


Naughty Frog Rehearsal….

A blonde, June, goes to her local pet store in search of an ‘exotic’ pet.

As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says: ‘SEX FROGS’ Only $20 each! Comes with ‘complete’ instructions.

The girl, June, excitedly looks around to see if anybody’s watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I’ll TAKE one!”

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, “Just follow the instructions!”

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully.

She does EXACTLY what is specified: Take a shower.

Splash on some nice perfume.

Slip into a very sexy nightie.

Crawl into bed and place the frog down in between your legs, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise…

NOTHING happens!

The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.

She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, “If you have any problems or questions. please call the pet store.”

So, she calls the pet store.

The man says, “I’ll be right over.”

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.

The blonde welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!”

The man… looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares ‘directly into its eyes’ and STERNLY says…

*

*

*

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* “LISTEN TO ME !! I’m only going to show you how to do this ONLY ONE .. MORE … TIME !!!”.


3n20jj


Elderly-People


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Today

Whatever you are up to today…

Stay safe and healthy.

As always…

My kindest regards

keith-eckstein1